×Hates×
ur mom
Meet me in outerspace/We could spend the night, watch the earth come up/I've grown tired of that place, wont you come with me/We could start again/How do you do it, make me feel like I do/How do you do it, its better than I ever knew/Meet me in outerspace/I will hold you close, If your afraid of heights/I need you to see this place, It might be the only way/That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you/How do you it, make me feel like I do/How do you do it, its better than I ever knew/How do you do it, make me feel like I do/Do oh oh oh oh oh/You are stellar
You are stellar/How do you it, make me feel like I do/How do you do it, its better than I ever knew/How do you do it, make me feel like I do/How do you do it, make me feel like I do, Yeah.
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I am in a good mood for the first time in a long time...I think I may even be enlightened??? Hmm...today I woke up dreading school and everything about it and just a few minutes ago I had a revelation??? OH yes... See today I was at school and the Kim drama played out a little and basically I realized you cant make everyone like you and no matter how hard you try to tell the truth some people will just live in their own world. I mean the important thing is I KNOW I didnt do anything that I got accused of and that, I believe is all that matters. It will be her loss of my friendship and that is okay with me, I dont like drama and I refuse to be in it, I leave her to her own affairs. Now, you may ask what was the straw that broke the camel's back...it was a note she wrote to Janie, she called me a bunch of things in it in an attempt to clear her name, that is fine do what you must....then I just sorta realized I dont want that type of people in my life. I enjoy being happy and this situation didnt make me happy. The only real sad part about it was I used to think Kim was like the sister I dont have. I thought of her as a kind of big sister almost to me. Sucks that it ended this way, b/c I always thought she'd be the friend I'd have forever. But I figure that there is most likely a really good reason this happened this way. I made a new friend from it (Janie) and I am growing closer to my other friends. So I think it may be for the better. Not so bad when I put it in perspective instead of blowing up at it.
I talked to my Jasers today. I miss him terribly. I cant wait to see him this weekend. I have missed his touch. I have missed his kisses, his hand holding mine. I have missed him soooo much it hurts. He is my real happiness he is what keeps me going sometimes. I get so unhappy sometimes....he is maybe my only happiness these days. Everything seems to be against me in terms of odds. But I want to overcome it. I sometimes think that maybe there is a little part in everybody that makes us happy and I think I got a defective one. I think my happiness is broke. And when Jason is around it is all better. And then I am happy...I wish he felt appreciated, I mean I dont think I show it enough.
I made up with Corey, I dont understand why he and I just cant stop fighting all together...I dont really know.
Today we worked on Prom decorations and I realized that Alysha and Summer are really great people, and I didnt realize how close I have become to them in friendship terms. It is funny because everyone thinks Summer and I are related...lol They are cool people. Janie is really cool too. I hope they know that. Too often I think I overlook the good in my life and focus on the bad. Those people who stand by my side, they really touch me. It's like you dont know what great friends you have sometimes.I know they will do great things in life, because they are just amazing people. I wish people would know they were amazing I should make a point to tell them they are amazing, so they wont feel bad, b/c they know someone out there thinks they are great. I say this because I dont think they get told how great they are....and they really are...
And Jase, I dont even know what I would do without him. Nobody will ever know how grounded he keeps me, how he makes me feel like I am worth something, like I am a real person and not just someone invisible in the crowds. He is just the most wonderful person and he loves me..Not that candy coated me, but the real me underneath, the one with mistakes and flaws. It takes a real man to love that girl.
I have a lot to be thankful for, remind me to never bitch again, I have so much going for me. I love yall.